SEXTING – What a Perfect Girls Circle Topic

July 16, 2009 at 6:41 pm 1 comment

Who would’ve thought that that in a national survey 22% of teen girls have sent or posted online nude or semi-nude pictures or videos of themselves?  And when asked why they do so?  51% say pressure from a guy is the reason they send sexy messages or images….

What’s up, girls?    Could it be the height of the moment with a little pressure from friends?  Or in the midst of feeling flirty, sexy or giggly?  Or maybe you’re really wanting to attract a new partner, or turn on the existing one?  Could this be the reason that you prematurely press that SEND button?

Most girls say that the most common reason is just for fun and flirtation.   Some say they think of it as a “present” to their boyfriend.  But the reality that we all know is that these sexy images get passed around.  RARELY does it stay in the hands of just one person.  In fact, 39% of boys state they SHARE content with others.

Well?   Time for that deeper discussion.  We know that no matter what the subject, if we really spend the time talking and listening, girls will most likely come around to making some good choices.  I always think of the story Kitty (our Sr. Training Mgr.) tells about her great discussion with middle school girls about oral sex.  The topic started out with most girls expressing that YES, they had engaged.  No biggie, they said.   But as the discussion deepened, more girls began to express their deeper shame – some even expressed “not knowing” the guy.  By the end of the discussion, most of the girls in the circle decided they just weren’t going to do it anymore because they really didn’t feel that good about it.

In the tech-savvy world our girls live in, “sexting” is just the perfect discussion.  Kathy Nesteby from the Iowa Gender Specific Services Task Force writes a great article about this in her “Girl Connection” newsletter.


And for a full report on what youth and young adults are reporting on this topic, see:

Bottom line?  Bring up the topic.  Spend time on it.  Ask lots of good questions.  Because ultimately, this recent study shows that teens  are most afraid of “regretting it later,” or “potential embarrassment,” or “hurting their reputation.”    So, I believe they know the dangers.  They perhaps just haven’t completely thought it through.    And that’s where WE can help.

So, print the survey.  Bring it to the circle.  Ask girls what they think.  Find out about their experiences.  Use a few motivational interviewing techniques…..What’s good about sexting?  What’s the downside?  Listen.  Reflect.  A good long discussion can do wonders.  Chances are they will convince each other or impact each other just enough to think twice before the next download.

By Giovanna Taormina
Got a story on this topic?  Please share!


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1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Mari  |  June 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm

    Can you please post a link to the survey. Thank you


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